Dear Trekker,
Another early morning has dawned, and I find myself alone in the stillness and silence of my study, at home in Colorado Springs. As I write this, it will be a few hours and Barbara and I will wing our way across the Atlantic. Another ministry trip to Europe to interact with and encourage the faithful; but equally important, or perhaps more so at this time in our lives, to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in our beloved Greece!
But this September has also been significant for another important reason. We Americans have been consumed with reliving that infamous event, ‘9/11’. Somehow I cannot reveal my heart; I cannot pass the baton this month unless I speak to these two events – 9/11 and my marriage. Oh, how they are related at the deepest level of my life, of who I am, and what makes “Jimbo” run and celebrate life!
These two events, one intensely personal and the other significant to the hubris of life and the culture of my country, really crystallized, suddenly, in my thinking when I read this quote in a Chuck Colson commentary a few days ago, “People who have stopped taking their religion seriously have trouble appreciating what other people’s religion might drive them to do.” Why do we humans do what we do, be it fly an airplane into tall buildings resulting in their collapse, with death and destruction and heartache the inevitable fallout, or be it remain faithful in marriage “till death do us part”?
How do they relate? Let me try to say it very simply; “vows ought to mean something in our lives.” And for many, they do. This does not mean any of us follow through perfectly with the vows we make. We don’t; the Bible uniformly says it well; we are sinners! (Read Romans 7 periodically. It will keep the unfolding pages of life in perspective and keep you humble, too.) But, trekker, there is a world of difference between recognizing the value of vows made, why they are made, and trying to keep them, and believing that all life is relative, hence vows are relative, so whether they are taken seriously, broken or kept, is of little significance to life.
Let me explain further, starting with the joy of marriage and the vows Barbara and I made (me in tears, she with a humungous smile) to each other September 8, 1956 in Bethany Chapel just off the Wheaton College campus. We vowed to “love and cherish… till death do us part.” We were in love, are in love, and by God’s ‘prevenient grace’ (more on this term in another MEN), we will always be in love. We have committed our lives to each other, following in the covenantal relationship set by God Almighty when He committed Himself for and to us in Jesus’ death and resurrection.
I have been asked often recently, “Jim, what is the key to a successful marriage of 50 years?” I have responded repeatedly with something like this, “Love the Lord more than each other, love and see Christ in each other, model Christ to each other, serve each other ‘as unto Christ’ (I love that Pauline phrase), and you too, if lucky, may realize 50 years.” (I say lucky because none of us in this fallen, diseased world are insured of longevity of earthly life, marriage or anything else… except God’s unfailing love.)
To sum up, vows in marriage are something to be made, kept, and worked out. Such vows become the establishment of the core values of our life. They are sacred. We return to them, as milestones, memorials and precious memories of the essence of life.
Let’s transition to 9/11. Practical religion is all about the systemization, or practice of the vows we have made to God and man. The true believer is always ‘dangerous’ in the eyes of others, and should be, because he or she seeks to practice and live out faith and belief. Why were we so surprised that 9/11 occurred? Why are many not disturbed when a world leader says his goal is to wipe another country off the face of the earth? Simply, we unconsciously infer our own belief system, or lack thereof, onto others. We may not take our historical belief system that serious and therefore, are surprised when others do. This is Colson’s point. It is valid, and that is why it caught my attention.
Vows made should have meaning, and do for many in the world. God’s vows to us are Truth. His words and actions are identical. Ours are a mixed bag, but some of us desire to live them out faithfully and consistently. Some in the world are absolute fanatics in carrying out their vows, in devastating, almost unbelievable ways.
In the final analysis, vows must be aligned to truth if they are to contribute to quality of life. Lived out, love in marriage is a good thing. Lived out, hate in fanatical terror, death and destruction, is a bad thing. This ought to be obvious, but if we don’t take our own vows seriously, we many not recognize that others do. Not until it’s too late.
As for me and my bride of 50 years, we will serve the Lord, love each other and celebrate God’s amazing faithfulness to us these last 50 years. “God has blessed, two remain one, united together, beloved by the Son.” Go for it trekker! You too can be faithful to your vows. May all your vows be good ones.
Grace and peace,
Jim Meredith
