Dad… A Man After God’s Own Heart

Dear Trekker,

Writing on Father’s Day, having spoken in the last few hours with my three sons (and daughter) who also are fathers, I find myself grappling with the question, “What makes a good father?” Who does not want to be a good Dad? I surely desire to be, as do my sons.

Is there a key which will open the door to faithful fathering? I believe there is! Trekker, we are to father our children as God fathers us! Simple and straightforward. How do we do that? The Scriptures speak of a certain man as “a man after God’s own heart.”

Please note, this man was not a sinless saint! Shepherd, musician, soldier, poet, husband, adulterer, murderer, statesman, king, father! All these things the man David was, but “I have found David, son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” (Acts 13:22) The Apostle Paul was quoting the prophet Samuel when he denounced King Saul … “your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people.” (I Sam 13:14)

Father’s are, first and last, leaders of their children. We can only lead our children back to God if we have the kindred spirit of and with God. We must desire to honor Jesus in our lives as the Rabbi sought to reveal and honor His father. And we do that only as we love whom He loves, we hate what he hates, and do what He desires we do. For me, trekker, being a man after God’s own heart suggests having our desires, our motives, our goals, our values, our priorities and actions line up with God’s. It means seeing all of life as He looks at life. As a Father, it means seeing my children as He sees my children… those for whom He died and gave His life a ransom. Did David stumble a bit in life? You better believe it! So having a heart for God (read: being a good father) does not mean we don’t mess up. We do! We don’t always live before our children as if we are “Jesus with skin on”. We don’t always set the example.

Even as God grants us grace, we as Fathers must grant grace to “our” children. As He forgives, we must forgive. He loves unconditionally; we must love in like manner. As He is forever our Father, we must always be the Father, no matter the age or maturity of our children. As God “will never leave or forsake us”, we must never leave or forsake our children. “Being there for me” is what every child desires in a DAD… love being measured not in things, but in time spent and actions taken. And adults desire this too! Along this thought of “having a heart for God” and “fathering our children as God fathers us”, I have used F-a-t-h-e-r to describe those attributes of a good Dad and a man after God’s own heart.

F – a father is faithful. He follows God by faith and leads by example. There is no higher calling than for a Dad to lead his children back into the arms of Jesus… permitting them to choose Jesus, for such is the Kingdom of God. Faithful…in all relationships.

A – a father is available. He sees his highest calling to “be there” for his children. He provides for them, he protects them, he prays for them, he prospers them, eventually turning them loose into God’s pasture that they too might be “all they can be” for the glory of God. Dads always show up!

T – a father is trustworthy. His word is his bond. He does what he says he will do. A child can count on his integrity. He does not exasperate his children by not “following through” on what he says he will do… a man of his word.

H – a father is humble. He knows how much his heavenly father has forgiven him, so he can forgive as he has been forgiven. As God is the author of “a second chance”, he too gives his children the “second chance”. As God has not given up on him, he does not give up on his children. He is neither proud nor haughty. He is forever a learner and growing into the likeness of Christ. His kids see Jesus in him.

E – a father is an encourager. As often a man can remain on his feet with a word of encouragement, so do our children lap up encouragement. As all men desire to please and honor the Savior (and the wife who loves them), so will children follow early the same pattern. Encouragement brings out the “best” in each one of us!

R – a father is responsible. God does not pass the buck! He made us, redeemed us as His children, and is responsible for and the initiator of Grace which sustains us. Likewise, as Fathers, we accept responsibility for the life we initiate and bring into the world. Early on we accept the responsibility to “train up (read live responsibly before our children) a child in the way he should go, knowing when he is old, he will not depart from it”, or he will return to it. Recently, I read of the high incidence of “strong willed” (read rebellious) children in their 20s and 30s returning to the values taught by parents.

Though sinners all, trekker, you and I can be good fathers, men after God’s own heart. He desires to make us like Himself… a good heavenly father! And remember, the heart is internal, the core of a man. External actions are repeatedly given a back seat in Scripture. “Out of the heart flow the issues of Life.” So, “guard your heart” the Proverb encourages (4:23). If my heart beats for the things for which His heart beats, then I am a man after God’s own heart! I have His heart!

What an adventure, being a Dad. It can bring out the best in us if we pant after God’s own heart as a dear panteth after water. And trekkers know about panting! Let’s pursue the challenge, trekker, to have a heart like God! Our children will bless us as we seek to “bless” (lift up and revere) Him!

Burning after God’s own heart,

Jim Meredith