Becoming Great Lovers

Dear Trekker,

Sitting around the breakfast table over the holidays with members of our family, I read the following from Brennan Manning’s, “Reflections for Ragamuffins”, a well-used book in our home, probably second only to the Bible. “God’s love is based on nothing, and the fact that it is based on nothing makes us secure.” He goes on to add: “Were it based on anything we do, and that ‘anything’ were to collapse, then God’s love would crumble as well.”  I thought to myself as I read…”should not our love be also unconditional?”

A lively discussion ensued, and Dad and Grandpa challenged family members to be “great lovers in 2013.” One of the challenges ‘he’ laid on the table was “to speak words of love, in a loving and kind way” throughout the New Year.

Words are powerful! No doubt one remembers well the neighborhood, school yard rhyme: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Of course, this little saying was a passive defense mechanism for a hurt little kid. Words do hurt; and words convey intents of the heart.

Words have meaning. How we speak them has meaning too! Our ability to create thoughts with words, and express them, is the essence of being human. So… the admonition of Proverbs 4:23 should be a constant reminder. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.” Naturally, Jesus said virtually the same thing when speaking to the Pharisees: “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

The Apostle James has some pertinent comment as well: “No one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and father and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s image. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”  Perhaps you’ve caught yourself wishing so-and-so had never been born into your life, or worse, dead!  We are cursing that person in our heart.  But blessing, in love, heals a broken heart…another’s and yours, too. True love never sows cursings; but great lovers reap untold blessings.

So you can imagine how the following words leaped from the page of Christianity Today (about the same time as the breakfast table recall) and resonated with me: “I don’t even like the word cult. It sounds like Dungeons and Dragons or something.” I inwardly cheered! Franklin Graham (Billy Graham’s son) was revealing the reason the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA) was no longer calling Mormonism a cult. Graham said, “I want to reach people for Christ, and how can I do that if I’m calling them a name?” Name calling is simply not a loving action.

Now trekker, I am suggesting a worthy goal for us all in 2013 is to be a great lover! And, our choice of words and our expression of words will convey love or contempt, invitation or judgment, blessing or curse. Graham is surely saying name-calling is the antithesis of love, i.e. how can it invite others into a relationship with Christ? Does it introduce others to Jesus Christ? It doesn’t, obviously.

Friends, we must speak love and do love if we are to be great lovers in 2013. The Apostle John has inspiring words for us, too: “This is how we know what love is; Jesus laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers (and sisters). If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue only, but with actions and in truth” I John 3:16-18. In chapter 4 he goes on to say, “Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

I find myself mediating quite often on the profound simplicity of life, if one understands Divine intention in the creation. Lives that win are circumscribed inevitably by love. When asked by a Pharisee, “which is the greatest commandment in the law”, Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it; love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on (are the basis of) these two commandments.” (Emphasis mine) Matthew 22 records the dialogue, and the Lord’s words were also inspired writings in the Old Testament Scripture, Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18. Love, the very nature of God, is to characterize all thought and all action. So-called ‘oughtness’ must reflect love, or it is not a legitimate ‘ought’. Love is the balm that heals soul and spirit forever, is it not?

We can love because God so loved us that He gave His life for us. When we realize this, we can live freely and fully… and we must do so if we are to reveal His love. We can never earn or deserve God’s love; but we are free and able to express it when in Christ. Love truly is a fruit of the Spirit within.

Trekker, let’s communicate love in 2013. Let’s let it bubble up and bubble over in all of our lives… our thoughts, our words and our actions. Love will always win the day! There is no defense against love… love will melt the coldest heart. Does much of anything else really matter? Let’s be great lovers in 2013.

Your friend, Jim Meredith