Dear Trekker,
A few days ago I received a very matter-of-fact, but moving letter. I feel led to share it with you: “Jimbo – (only a very select few have called me Jimbo over the years… I like the camaraderie sound.) How’s my lifetime friend? As we grow older (who me?) we affirm values in our lives that have meant so much to us in our past. Our relationship in our school years was special. Since then, our distances apart have reduced our “times of touching,” but our friendship has prevailed and prospered. I just wanted to again say I love you for what you’ve meant to me! Our times, they are rollin fast!!”
This may seem like a nice innocent letter, and it surely is. But the meaning of the words quite frankly choked me up for a moment or two. Oh, the depth of like experience and commitment to one another that is possible. Someone once said, “The most valuable antiques are our old friends.” I like that. Bob is an old friend.
We were born in the same town in Indiana, Marion, then 26,000, plus or minus a few. He attended my five-year-old birthday party. We are only about thirty days apart in age. We went to school together; we played sports together; we grew up together and became young men. We went our separate ways to college – Bob to Indiana University and I to Wheaton College in Illinois. Bob became a very successful dentist in a university town (Purdue, West Lafayette, IN). I forewent law school and spent thirty years in the U.S. Army. We could never “touch” much, but the cords of compatibility, character and commitment were seared into our being and formed a life-long and eternally bound friendship in this life as well as the next.
His letter alluded to our love for Indiana basketball which we had played together in our teen years. Our hometown university (then Marion College, now Indian Wesleyan University) had just won the NAIA Division II National Championship and he thought I might not know it (I didn’t). The IWU coach had attended sport/leadership Kanakuk Kamp in Missouri as a lad and had adopted the Kanakuk motto, “I’m third,” in his coaching style. “God first, the other person second and I’m third.” (I’ve personally encountered many talented youth staff over the years who had attended Kanakuk as participants or staff. Kanakuk is “good.”) So our familiarity with IWU as boys became a “touch point.” He also added that one of our friends and fellow classmates (a “rich kid” growing up) had become a principal supporter and benefactor for IWU.
Now why do I tell you all this, this month? Simple…there is no way to evaluate the impact of long term relationships, friendship forged in the bonds of mortal love and commitment to one another. Thomas Aquinas sums it up well: “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” Surely special friends are the siblings God did not give us. For me, without a brother, special male friends are the brothers I didn’t have. Bob was the first and as a true brother, the relationship is permanent. It survives any storm, as the storms only test the strength of the commitment to each other. Surely friends are the greatest investment opportunity known to man.
Now, how does all this fit with the Kingdom of heaven which lasts forever? Quite well! For in my relationship with Bob, and many others, I’ve seen many friends grow “in Christ”…be born from above into the Family, take their place in the Kingdom and bloom and blossom in Kingdom service. Such friends make one “wealthy” indeed. Such harmony, accord, understanding, rapport and mutual support breed new life and develop the Body of Christ most significantly. Oh to be understood and to understand…that is friendship!
No wonder that sacred Scriptures, through the beloved Apostle John, record a mini-dialogue Jesus had with his disciples that highlight the meaning, value and potential of seeing and treating one another as friends. Jesus speaks in John 15:11-17, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Indeed I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: love each other.”
Oh, the richness of this account. Jesus herein describes not simply a principle of the Kingdom, but a lifestyle he had practiced since he first chose them to be disciples. Friendship is not an exploitation gig…it is a lifestyle of any effective leader (or person). With understanding of the Scriptural passage comes responsibility and great reward.
Note first…this is a joy passage, personified. There is joy in friendship, joy in doing the God thing, whatever it is. An opposite of joy is guilt. Note secondly, love permeates the entire context of the quote. We are made to love; friendly competition (as well as cooperation) should characterize our spirit and life actions as “iron sharpens iron.” We are not to compete to divide loyalties or engage in “one-upmanship.” We compete to grow and excel for the Master. God first, others (team) second, me third! This attitude balances our penchant for individualism as it runs up against our legitimate need for community.
Jesus calls us to friendship with Him, and by logical and mandatory inference, with each other. Such friendships bear fruit. It is inevitable. So, we are not servants in this context, we are friends. This declaration is as amazing today as it was 2000 years ago. A secular world always exploits the doulos (slave). The Kingdom of Heaven lifts such servant status to the highest plane possible, that of “friend of Jesus.” One particular element of the body of Christ I have participated in for years refers to one another simply as “a friend of Jesus.” The word Christian can divide in some contexts.
This concept of friendship is not found only in John in the New Testament. Abraham is referred to as a friend of God in Isaiah 41:8. What an amazing gift…to be given the opportunity to be a friend of the Son of God, of God Himself. What an offer! Who would refuse such if each were in his or her “right mind?”
One of the things about friendship…we see each other in a different light. We trust. We encourage one another. We cheer one another. We provide for one another. We lose the we/they mentality. We don’t judge or put in boxes. We work together, ever “picking up pieces” together. We don’t see one another “as far off,” but we as God is with us are always present with each other. Distance is a meaningless term.
Jesus did an amazing thing for us by His life, teaching, death on a cross, resurrection and gift of His Spirit. He offered us intimacy with Himself and the Father. God no longer is “far off.” He can be an intimate friend. No wonder we are to emulate the offer of “God friendship” as we relate to one another.
Trekker, you are my friend! Though miles and years and “stuff of the world” may separate, we are going to spend eternity together. I wouldn’t miss it. What an eternal celebration of friendship heaven will be.
Reveling now in friendship with you,
Jim Meredith
