Dear Trekker,
A couple of months ago I was having breakfast with two trekkers, good friends of many years together in youth ministry. We were reviewing the effects of structural change in a particular ministry, which had created virtually a “new” ministry. One friend smiled and said, “It’s an example of Henry Cloud’s Necessary Endings.”
Some years ago I read one of Dr. Cloud’s book, Boundaries. (He’s a prolific current Christian psychologist who speaks and writes quite well.) But I had not (then) read Necessary Endings. I have read it now. It’s a good self-help book. One reviewer commented: “This book will challenge you to put a stop to things that have been getting in your way for a long time.” Indeed, there are things in relationships and day-to-day activities all of us must give up in order to move forward. If you want to run a marathon, one had better give up some time (and maybe a beer or two) to get in shape. End the self-indulgence to move forward!
The spiritual underpinning of Cloud’s argument in the book is John, Chapter 15, which, as I have written before, contains my life’s credo: “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself. It must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you (Christ seekers), are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4,5). Cloud talks extensively about the necessary pruning (ending) process. The gardener (God) cuts off every branch (you and me, trekker) in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so it will bear more fruit (v.1,2). Cloud uses this challenge to explain “necessary endings” –e.g. dead branches need to be “cut off.” He expands the principle by stating sick branches need to be healed…and all branches need to be pruned periodically to be more effective. John 15 is a good biblical backdrop illustration to lay the ground work for “necessary endings.”
As I have meditated on Necessary Endings, I have been grateful for its insights, but also have come to the conclusion I need to re-think “endings” to go beyond self-help steps. Earthly self-help steps rarely (if ever) transport one to the threshold of God’s gift! Only inadequacy, inability, and plain failure can usher in “new birth.” And when we give thanks for the indescribable gift of God (II Corinthians 9:14,15), this opens the floodgates of grace for us to give to others. In giving thanks in everything, we open the door for the Holy Spirit of God to reign in our lives! (See I Thessalonians 5:18.) We fulfill God’s will by allowing His Spirit to empower and energize us to be grateful, rejoicing people. Clearly, it is a step beyond self-help. Thanks giving eliminates the need to justify ones actions, the tendency to worry and be anxious about “next steps” or outcomes. If we think, “look what I (or even we) have done,” we may inadvertently put out the Spirit’s fire (v.19). Admitting we are helpless to save ourselves in any scenario, and giving thanks for God’s provision of His empowering Spirit, is the launching, the beginning of a vibrant life-style. “Leaning on Jesus” (as the old hymn says) makes us safe and secure.
To be very direct, we can’t move forward in our daily walk without thanks giving and praise. What is key? St. Paul again is helpful in writing to encourage the Colossians: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (Col 3:23,24). I find myself admonishing and encouraging myself and others to “do whatever I do heartily as unto the Lord.” I can only do this, however, in His strength. If I am to do “whatever I do in love, joy and peace heartily unto the Lord,” I must remember these are the fruit of the Spirit healthy in me (Col 5:22.23)! And yes, He will prune me that I might bear more of His fruit, “for Christ in me is the only hope of glory (Col 1:27).
Toward the end of Necessary Endings, Cloud has a chapter on “sustainability.” If one’s earthly resources are not sustainable, sooner or later, the “bills will not be paid,” the “next steps” will not be taken, the “tire will go flat” and movement will stop. You get the picture, trekker! Now in real life, there is only one sure sustainable…God the Holy Spirit! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” St. Paul says (Phil 4:13). That is only true because of Christ in us… enlisting us, equipping us, energizing us!
Cloud’s concluding chapter records an enlightening conversation he had. A friend said, “I am in a great place…I just went to this silent retreat, and part of the emphasis was to meditate on gratitude (read “giving thanks”). I realized that so much of my life, the really good stuff, came about not really at all as a result of my being smart enough to plan it that way… it made me more grateful to see that… all of it (the good life) came from whatever I did before. Then when the “before” ended, it led to the “next thing”…a pattern emerged. Every time something ended, the ending led to the next thing that was what I needed and was looking for.”
Trekker, sounds like Romans 8:28, doesn’t it? All things work together for the good to those who are in Christ Jesus (and He in us)! So we get going with our own salvation (Phil 3:17) for God is at work in us to will and act according to His good purpose (v 13). Good enough is never good enough until we are Jesus with skin on, mirroring and effusing His love, joy and peace to others. Our thanks giving to God begets our thanks giving to others. Relying on Him is the only sustainable power known to man! The well of His Spirit will never run dry! (See John 7:37-39).
Happy Thanks Giving, trekker, not one day, but every day of your life. The Lifegiver has opened the Lifegate for us all. But the “necessary ending” for each of us is to stop trying to “do it our self, by our self, for our self” and accept His incomparable, inexpressible, inexhaustible gift… Himself!
Your friend,
Jim Meredith
