Dear Fellow Trekker,

Father’s Day, June 19, 2005. Over one of Dad’s delicious omelets this morning when Mom and daughter blessed Dad with cards and gifts, I pondered, “what are some ingredients of ‘delicious’ fathering?” Daughter Cindy’s card highlighted the last verse of the Old Testament scripture, “And He shall turn the heart of the Fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their Fathers… ” Malachi 4:6. The card expressed that being “a good father means being both strong and gentle, firm and compassionate, steady, yet willing to flow with the times.

The phrase, “steady, yet willing to flow with the times” lit my verbal fuse! I mused that this phrase captured my Fatherly aspirations, and the key to success for me was discernment. Pick your battles! What is worth fighting for? What demands a steadiness of purpose, faithful adherence to a principle… and yet, when should there be give and take, and a greater opportunity to promote a relationship, when the salient point to be made is simply not that critical? Very important for good fathering, or good friendship! What is the application of an enduring principle and what is merely cultural practice and therefore not an issue on which to fall on one’s sword! Discernment, so necessary, is clearly a by-product of a deep relationship with THE Father. Maybe the greatest encouragement and challenge for me this day is to see that the Heavenly Father provides the complete example of fathering for which I long. Perhaps successful fathering begins with modeling my fathering style after His!

Then we attended chapel at Peterson Air Force Base. What a joy to have my daughter with me, as well as my faithful bride of 49 years who allowed me to be a father four times. The wing chaplain, Mike Tinnon, gave perhaps the most inspiring Father’s Day admonition I have ever heard. He spoke of the “waiting Father”, commonly known as the parable of the prodigal son. He glowingly spoke of the patience of the father, patiently waiting till the son came to his senses. Patience, what an attribute needed for successful Fathering! Good dads are patient in prayer and hope for the prodigal. Dad runs out to embrace the repentant son yet “afar off”. “Filled with compassion,” Dad says, “welcome home my son!”

Just this past week Barbara and I participated in a conference my daughter had pulled together for military wives at the Spring Canyon retreat center in western Colorado. The dynamic speaker had used the acrostic WAIT, preparing me for the waiting father sermon of this day. The waiting, patient father first watches while he waits, observing what God is allowing, being alert, and inwardly weeping perhaps for a restored relationship of love and forgiveness with son (or daughter). Secondly, he accepts all life situations, regardless, praying for opportunities to reconcile a broken relationship or welcome a wayward sheep back into the fold. Thirdly, a waiting Father goes forward with his life, not drowning in his sorrow, but investing in reconciliation long before it occurs. Hope and faith take over. Finally, the hopeful, steady father trusts in Jesus to right the wrong where possible, heal the hurt, and turn the heart of the father to the children, and the children to the Father.

Needless to say, God worked in this Dad today. This fathering gig is never over! Fathering is not a sprint; it’s a marathon! My adult children need Dad (and Mom) as much today as ever. Along with the DISCERNMENT I seek, and the PATIENCE I need, one other gut principle of Fathering emerged in my mind and heart today! It is the principle of INTEGRITY.

Without integrity one has nothing of lasting value! Integrity is the foundation of all fathering! I learned this one day the hard way when son Scott (11 at the time) brought me up short for buying cat food at the commissary for a local Greek employee. “What’s up, Dad? We don’t have a cat!” (For you non military guys, this was against regulations.) Shamefully, but confidently I told my friend, “Sorry, Costas, my son and my fathering example are far more important than food for your cat!” Little things can jolt one back to reality. Integrity can never be compromised…and that is a big thing!

DISCERNMENT flows from a healthy relationship with my heavenly Father! This relationship, through the indwelling Spirit, equips me with a sixth sense, telling me when something doesn’t compute, and faithfully guides me down the path of faithful fathering. PATIENCE puts the onus on me, not on my child struggling to find himself. Learning to watchfully wait, observing the hand of God at work, accepting what He has allowed, yet knowing there is always hope for redemption and change, investing in my children and others while I am in the waiting room of His daily Presence, and then trusting Him to bring the “good result” as He determines and in His time frame. Finally, there is INTEGRITY. In life, there is no substitute for it … ever!

Father’s Day begins with the Father. He is the Good Father! We have the Father in Jesus who says, “I love you. You are forgiven.” He will guide us, too, to be good role models, good dads, “Jesus with skin on” to our kids, young and older. He just longs to hear from us, “I love you, too.” (Probably our kids wouldn’t mind hearing these words, as well, along with a hug.) Sure, bad choices have consequences, but so do good ones. If we sow love and forgiveness, we just may reap what we sow… and be good Dads in the process. He will turn hearts toward home when Dads “show- up”, “fess-up”, and “stand up” for their kids. Let’s be that Dad!

Your fellow trekker,
Jim Meredith